Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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