WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
