If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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