Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
