I'm going to jail i love you
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
