go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize