I hate your face
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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