They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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