I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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