Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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