Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so explain again why im purple
no
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Randomize
