I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
