1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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