What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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