i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
