Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize