Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
