Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
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I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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