Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
