It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
