the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
