Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
