Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
