I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
