Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
