is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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