You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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