after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
