Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
