Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
