i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
