WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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