I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
