Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
