What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
