what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
