my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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