Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
