I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
