You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
