I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
