i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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