There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
