Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
