Your mouth is God's brothel.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
