Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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