i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
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