I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I need water and some morals
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
