Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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