this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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