Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
