He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
