Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Michael Bay diarrhea
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
