Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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