I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
