the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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