Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
love makes seman taste better
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Randomize
