u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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