That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
they're like a gay fantastic four
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
