What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
