I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
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