Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(417): View more from Missouri

He has such a weird drunk-voice.

(1-417): View more from Missouri

dude, he's deaf.

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(904): View more from Florida

If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it

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(618): View more from Illinois

The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(859): View more from Kentucky

Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?

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(740): View more from Ohio

His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.

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(916): View more from California

I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties

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