Texts From Last Night

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  (707): View more from California

  I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.

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  (707): I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours. http://tfl.nu/vd0x
  Replies (11) Good night (1585) Bad night (1308)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.

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  (631): I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches. http://tfl.nu/ic23
  Replies (28) Good night (559) Bad night (7067)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.

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  (503): My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours. http://tfl.nu/f53e
  Replies (40) Good night (14834) Bad night (936)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room

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  (850): I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room http://tfl.nu/xiwe
  Replies (15) Good night (1327) Bad night (4142)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since

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  (907): He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since http://tfl.nu/78cc
  Replies (2) Good night (2426) Bad night (738)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.

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  (937): Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it. http://tfl.nu/m5np
  Replies (9) Good night (3550) Bad night (1013)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.

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  (225): Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe. http://tfl.nu/nl8k
  Replies (5) Good night (1940) Bad night (1024)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.

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  (314): Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation. http://tfl.nu/d9l2
  Replies (4) Good night (820) Bad night (1959)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck

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  (619): Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck http://tfl.nu/s9r0
  Replies (20) Good night (3454) Bad night (1746)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.

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  (601): We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level. http://tfl.nu/1en2
  Replies (12) Good night (3486) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss

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  (802): ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss http://tfl.nu/xu33
  Replies (10) Good night (2260) Bad night (936)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment

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  (720): It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment http://tfl.nu/cuki
  Replies (8) Good night (1649) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.

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  (307): Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory. http://tfl.nu/grsq
  Replies (5) Good night (1499) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.

  (1-510): View more from California

  That is one convoluted booty call.

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  (510): Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week. (1-510): That is one convoluted booty call. http://tfl.nu/bxw4
  Replies (2) Good night (672) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.

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  (+61): I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/104i
  Replies (10) Good night (1344) Bad night (429)

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