Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.