oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
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Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
I am invincible.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
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I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"