it wasn't lemon gatorade
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
