there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
